When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace - Jimi Hendrix

One of the worst feelings is knowing that there's something you desperately want to say to someone, but you're not quite sure what. However, the absolute worst feeling is suddenly realising that you know exactly what it is you want to say, but that you have no one to say it to.
 

 
I don't understand why everything has to be so difficult. I'm not a bad person. I try so hard and I get better and better and yet somehow it's still not good enough.
 

 
I honestly wonder what difference it would make if I weren't here. Not if I killed myself, because people would have to be shocked by that, but simply if I start to phase myself out. Break off conversations, or wait for people to talk to me first. Is there anyone that would actually make the effort. And if they did, would I still find some problem with them anyway? I'm going to hate myself for this tomorrow but it's how I feel and I'm allowed to admit it to myself, so shut up.

Tomorrow I will have been with the most wonderful person in the entire world for two whole years. I genuinely can't believe it. I love you darling, I really do. I admire your honesty and strength and intelligence and I'm so proud of everything you do. I can't wait to spend the many more years with you.

Spinning on that dizzy edge,
I kissed her face and kissed her head.
And dreamed of all the different ways I had
To make her glow.
"Why are you so far away?" she said
"Why won't you ever know that I'm in love with you,
That I'm in love with you"
You, soft and only.
You, lost and lonely.
You, strange as angels
Dancing in the deepest oceans,
Twisting in the water.
You're just like a dream.
Daylight licked me into shape.
I must have been asleep for days.
And moving lips to breathe her name,
I opened up my eyes.
And found myself alone, alone,
Alone above a raging sea,
That stole the only girl I loved
And drowned her deep inside of me.
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My ankle hurts.

I'm kind of against ranty sets in general at the moment but I really feel like I need this one. Honestly, don't bother reading any further, it will be long and dull and it's more for my benefit.
 
Three years ago, my granny started having strokes. They ran a load of tests and discovered she had a brain tumour, which was cancerous and rapidly getting worse. She went through chemotherapy and radiotherapy in an attempt to give her a brief period of healthiness before the inevitable happened, but she never got better. Worse, because of where her tumour was, her personality changed, she wasn't herself anymore. Trying to make decisions was impossible because we knew she was saying things that the real her wouldn't have agreed with. After seven months she died, leaving behind her husband, four daughters and 5 grandchildren.
Three years later, her second daughter, my aunt, started having fits. It was diagnosed as epilepsy, but they soon realised it was actually a brain tumour, in almost exactly the same place. She's only 42. Not only does this mean that her two daughters will lose their mother at the ages of eight and five, but it brings back painful memories for her and for the rest of my family. My grandad was with my granny for over forty years and now he has to see his daughter buried before him as well. I just don't understand why one family should have to go through so much.
 
Apologies. Venting session over.

Hey look, I can still make pretty things :')

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m--lZP1c28g
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How do we escape the labyrinth of suffering?
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This one is slightly closer to my opinion now but still a little too melodramatic for my liking. I am leaving it to remind myself of how I have already changed so I don't criticise myself too much, that would be counter-productive.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tn0SYDqc8Q8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cHlf08yTPiU&list=FLtPAmvgPYJNXCjMNIUQRvFA&index=1&feature=plcp

I'm not very good at choosing the right words so I'm going to edit this slowly and explain myself as I find them. The set already says enough for now.
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EDIT: Please ignore this. I made it a long time ago and I am only keeping it here to remind me of what I am trying to avoid being and/or doing.